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Variety is reporting on it today…http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118017689.html?categoryid=13&cs=1&ref=bd_film

For as long as the Avengers movie was announced, I racked my brain on who would be a good choice.

Jon Favreau made sense to me since he started this big wave of Marvel movies thanks to Iron Man, but he stated he has no interest in making The Avengers movie(he will be a producer on it).

Maybe Zack Snyder? His visuals are amazing and the action is guaranteed to be well shot and be epic. Granted his character work is fine(at best), it’s not his forte and for the Avengers film you need someone who can make this ensemble work and be fun to watch.

Maybe J.J. Abrams? He’s work on Star Trek was great, and ensemble in that film was stupendous. He was able to balance both the action and the character while still making it look big and epic.

BUT both Snyder and Abrams are busy as fuck guys with no room to make an epic movie like The Avengers.

SO, enter  Joss Whedon.

Dude’s an accomplished writer/director. His writing is what he’s known for, but his directing is energetic, well paced and nicely stylized.

For at least FOUR different shows he’s handled large ensembles and give each character personality, humor and enjoyable traits to make them distinct.

He knows his comics, after writing 25 issues of Astonishing X-Men (plus his run on The Runaways comic). His X-Men run was critically acclamed and a huge hit.

And most importantly…he’s HUNGRY.

Not in the sense that he’s poor assholes, no, he’s hungry to prove himself.

He has a huge following, but it’s a cult following and it’s not enough for someone who needs make more projects.

Right now, Hollywood thinks Whedon only works for a niche audience, much like Kevin Smith.

Whedon has been trying to get into the big leagues, to be someone in the industry that can make a blockbuster hit off a project.

He’s had a few movie projects get away from him or be stuck in development. (Goners, an original script at Universal, and the Wonder Woman film that didn’t work out)

His recent show, Dollhouse, also got cancelled, making him a very available man.

He’s been kicked around by some bad luck in the last few years, and he needs to make a movie to make a big stamp.

This movie is his answer.

Personally (as if you couldn’t tell) I think he’s perfect for the job.

I love his work dearly and I have been waiting for someone to give him a big budget superhero film, I just didn’t think it would be this big budgeted superhero film.

This will be the biggest project he has ever worked on, but I think he’s ready.

Good luck Joss, because it’s your job to make sure the Avengers assemble!

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Call this a rant if you will, but let me rant.

Sometimes I think the art of making a cool movie poster is dead.

Even the silliest of comedies used to get posters like theses…

Now, they look like this…

Photographer-“Perfect, good, just stand there and mug at the camera. Photoshop guy, what you have in mind for the design?”

Photoshopguy-“Uh…I’ll throw the title in the front and their names above them?”

Photographer-“………….good enough for me!”

p.s. I am quite aware that I’m picking on KILLERS again. ;P

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Huh…

Watch these three trailers and see if you can catch what they all share….

Who knew there were so many “Action guy who helps out screaming woman while bad guys chase after them” movies being released this year.

Who knew there were so many being MADE this year.

Of course the best film in this genre is still this one….

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TV shows to movies are always a tricky deal. Even trickier is TV Sketches to movies. Hell this past weekend I was reminded of the crapfest in a bun of a movie called “Good Burger”…

uuuuggh.

Now I have personal faves (Wayne’s World and The Brady Bunch Movie) but most of the times, TV to movies are usually the lowest common denominator in films.

And most of the times they fall trap of being too far off the TV show that makes you wonder “Whats the point?”

In terms of sketches to movies, they fall into lame brain formulas and non characters, mostly because all the characters are sketch characters and they don’t know how to expand them into feature films.

SO, with all that being said, lets look at what Hollywood got for us this year?

THE A-TEAM

Well holy shit…its the A-Team!

They did the teaser the way I would have done it.

 Use the shows original opening narration for the trailer, give us a little taste of the epic version of the theme song, and a whole lot of goofy action, and god damn it thats what they gave us!

I’m down. All I ever asked for an A-Team movie is to make it like the TV Show, but with a massive budget, and thats what it looks like. The A-Team was always just “The Dirty Dozen:The Show”,  so making a movie based on The A-Team seemed to me the easiest TV to movie adaptation.

Whats kind of crazy for me? Actor Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is playing B.A. Baracus, BUT we all know that B.A. Baracus was just Mr. T. BUT Rampage can’t just play Mr.T, he has to play B.A. Baracus, but B.A. Baracus is simply Mr. T, so Rampage has to find a way to play B.A. Baracus with out playing Mr. T but Mr. T is……

…ouch. I suddenly I got a headache.

The thing I’m pretty excited about for this film is that it looks to be a balls out fun 80’s style action movie, the kind were the heroes smile and were the bad guys are going to drop like flies.

MACGRUBER

If there was one series of sketches that represents the formulaic- SNL- repetitive sketch, then it’s Macgruber.

Sometimes they work on me, sometimes they don’t, but I hardly would think of making a movie out Macgruber, so I was surprised that they announced one.

God help me…but I kinda liked what I saw.

 Directing  looks pretty slick, and there are some choice moments that made me laughed. There were a few jokes that didn’t work, but overall, I thought it looks waaaay better than what I thought it was going to be.

I also liked that Kristen Wigg will be getting her first major movie role that utilizes everything I like about her in SNL (her delivery at the end was pretty good.)

And yes, the bit with the warhead at the end looks to be setting up a usual Macgrueber  style scenario, which makes me wonder what the twist will be this time.

I also find it pretty weird that we live a world were a MacGyver parody is being made into a movie before they make a legit MacGyver movie.

So…is it too late to ask as for a Spartans movie?

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First, lets watch the trailer to the original…..

With that on our minds, lets look ahead…

Yesterday Columbia Pictures just dropped the trailer to the remake….

First, let me go AngryAsianMan here….

Karate, is a martial arts that was created and performed…IN JAPAN. It is a JAPANESE martial arts, with some influence in chinese kenpo.

What Jackie Chan does, and what he was taught when he was a little kid….is WUSHU, or KUNG FU, but put simply, CHINESE martial arts.

This remake is set in China.  Looking at how Jackie is training Jaden Smith’s character he is training him in a wushu/kung fu style, NOT KARATE.

So, calling this movie THE KARATE KID is maddening because it is so god damn culturally insensitive.

COME ON HOLLYWOOD! Thanks for saying that ALL Asians are the same that ALL martial arts are the same.

Seriously, Fuck You.

Also, thanks for perpetuating the stereotype that everyone in an Asian country are martial artist, even the jerk 11 year olds who like to pick on the poor westerner.

Also, is it me or is there a fight scene in this movie in which Jackie’s character (named Mr. Han in the remake) takes on 11 year olds?

Yes, it is similar to the scene in the original in which Mr. Miyagi fights the cobra kai at the Halloween party….but those kids were like 16-18, old enough to probably handle themselves in a fight.

Jackie is fighting kids the remake?

Oh, and are they actually training on The Great Wall of China? Might as well right? Westerners know of that Chinese monument, put it in the movie!

I also kinda laughed at the their new take on the “wax on, wax off” training technique, thought I don’t think “Jacket off, Jacket on” is going to catch on in modern pop culture.

So, whats the conflict?

Well I hate to say this but while watching the trailer, I got the feeling that this might be Jackie’s best american performance to date. I love his performance in the trailer. He’s clearly not doing a rip off Pat Morita’s Mr. Miyagi. Jackie  is making the character his own, and I  like what I see.

Granted, it’s just a trailer so we will see how this goes, but I think Jackie is actually going to come out of this movie with some good talk about him.

Same can be said about Jaden Smith. He was quite good in The Pursuit of Happyness, and I’m kinda diggin him in this trailer too. He’s not trying to be cute in this film, and for an 11-year-old, he’s actually got a surprisingly mature looking role in this flick.

The cinematography looks strong too. I like all the shots with the crowds of martial artist practicing, and the training stuff with Jackie and Jaden looks good too.

Listen, we all agree there is no reason to flat-out remake this movie.

Granted, Hollywood has probably ripped it off enough for them to just finally say “Fuck it, well just remake it now.”

Examples of  Karate Kid rip offs?

Sidekicks-Mako taking over the role of Mr. Miyagi in this Chuck Norris guest starring movie.

Never Back Down-New guy gets picked on by arrogant asshole, learns martial arts(MMA for that movie) to defeat asshole in a tournament.

The truth is, I would be more into the idea of this flick if they just called it something else.

Had this been The Kung Fu Kid, or in my opinion a better sounding title would have been The Wushu Kid, I would be a bit more open-minded to it.

Calling it one of those titles means that it acknowledges that it’s a new take on the original, but it will be different enough to maybe stand on its own.

But no, Hollywood fears that audiences need a recognizable name for them to watch a movie.

Heres one more thing before we go….

I remember reading Jackie Chan’s autobiography “I am Jackie Chan: My life in Action” (Yeah, I know, I know, but I was big fan so sue me.)

When Jackie was doing his first press tour, he was doing it for his first American film “Battle Creek Brawl”(1980).

And I remember him saying that whenever an interviewer would ask him how long has he been training in karate he would always correct them, saying what he did was not karate.

I remember him saying he got tired of it very quickly and that he wished America could see the difference.

Well, 29 years later, I guess Jackie’s wishes still haven’t come true and even though at one point  they did almost call it The Kung Fu Kid ( read here for proof on that: http://www.firstshowing.net/2009/03/29/jackie-chans-karate-kid-remake-to-be-called-kung-fu-kid/) the studio went right back to The Karate Kid.

So, no, remaking the movie isn’t my problem, it’s that no matter how hard Asians try to be represented in mainstream American media, Hollywood still can’t give us the respect we ask so simply for.

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nightmareonelmstreetposter

So this weekend, New Line Cinemas released the teaser trailer to the remake( or “reimagining”…ugh) of “A Nightmare on Elm Street”.

Check it…

Some of the things I dig about it.

1. The opening of the trailer is my favorite part of the whole thing. I like that they’re hinting at the idea of playing Freddy Kreuger a little more sympathetic. The way that Jackie Earl Haley delivers the line “What do you think I did, I didn’t do anything!” was fantastic. Seeing Clancy Brown (who’s always bad ass in any film, Highlander, Starship Troopers etc.) makes me smile since he brings a great menace to the it. The opening also hints at the idea of maybe the parents feeling guilty about their choice.

2. Theres some nice visuals in it.

3. Jackie Earl Haley is my main interest in this, and after seeing him in Little Children and Watchmen, I am really excited to see how he’s going to do this. He’s a good actor and he just seems to be perfect in the role.

But, theres a problem. Looking at the trailer one of things I did notice is that, this looks to be the exact same movie as the original. Almost beat for beat, shot for shot.

I know, I know, it’s a remake, but hear me out on this. When Friday the 13th came out last year, it had a neat idea. Instead of a straightforward remake, it did some cleaning up, retooling and played with the old movies.

What the Friday the 13th remake did was combine elements of the first four Friday the 13th movies and reworked the mythology, and I had fun seeing how they did that.

So looking at the Nightmare remake, I see a missed opportunity. There are so many places to go, and as I wrote earlier, it could still go there, but I’m sensing that after the opening scenes it will just  be like the original movie.

The Nightmare franchise has always been a cool series of movies. Here, imagination kills, dreams kill…you could do anything here.

Could you imagine a Gullermo Del Toro type directing a Nightmare movie? A filmmaker using his imagination to his full horror extent?

All I’m saying, with a concept like Nightmare, you could try thinking out of the box.

Example? Ok try this…

Ok, the acting is pretty much crap, but look, the guy was thinking of new ways to freshen up Freddy Krueger. I kinda dug the idea of a Freddy Krueger walking around with flames. It was a neat take, it was different.

Well, who knows. I haven’t seen the remake yet, and it could be surprising.  Why don’t we all find out next year then.

Sweet dreams people.

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